Eh, its friday so fuck it.

Hello citizens of earth who have an internet connection. It is July 23 is the 204th day of the year (205th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 161 days remaining until the end of the year.

Friday, yes everybody loves a friday, well everybody thats not in retail because retail fucking sucks. Be smart, get an office job like me, then you have time to blog/facebook/whatever other trendy thing is hot right now.

So whats going on?

I dont even know, Im sitting here at work, since blogging doesnt pay. I just watched one of my favorite web shows I-Carly .. Wait, thats on nickelodeon.. I was actually just watching the phillip defranco show.

Philly D's show is one of the few web related things I dont hate or hate on. So if you havent seen it before you might as well check it out. Yes, he does look like an incedible douchebag, but hes actually pretty funny.

These short web shows are great, instead of your own annoying thoughts buzzing around your head your you can have other peoples annoying thoughts in your head.

I hate that I havent made videos to put on here, but Im a hideous chud and poor as shit so Im working with subpar equipment. But I will be video capable very soon folks.

Speaking of hate, we're all aware I hate alot of things .. Most things .. I usually hate movies that can be called "Psychological Thrillers" .. Not because I dont like to think or the movies suck, but because I usually think the writer is basically just trying to tell us, "Hey fuckheads, Im smarter than you, you're not going to understand this movie" - Well I say fuck you over hyped, no talent, smuck writers and stick with hilarious low brow comedy flicks.

With that said

Im also a hypocrit because I love most David Lynch movies and Im also going to see Inception with my girlfriend tonight - her choice of course - as men, in todays America, we dont make as many decisions as women would have you belive. But I will review the movie, it'll get its fair shake, but Im generally an asshole so somthing has to really be good for me to give it any credit.

Todays douche bag of the day
**Douche bag of the day theme song plays**

Yes, a douche bag of the day, somthing this blog needs. Today its none other than Mike " the situation" ****** .. Uh .. Does he have a last name? I dont know it, because this guy really sucks. But how much does he suck? Well, he makes a living on reality tv (Fuck him), his latest endeavors include showing off his abs in a workout video (Really? Fuck him), and hes writing a self-help book devoted to leading the Jersey Shore lifestyle (Fuck him, and the people who buy this book). The book, to be called "Here's the Situation" will give diet and workout advice along with tips on "how to keep up with your GTL" -- The Situation's patented system described as "gym, tanning, and laundry." Aside from these guido lifestyle tips Im sure it will also have chapters covering "How to hide your chlamydia from girls", "How to get drunk enough to kill yourself", "How to be a complete and total doucher", "How to turn 30 without ever growing up", and of course "How to fool the American public into thinking your interesting".

**And now we know its a whole family of douche bags.

The Jersey Shore.

Seriously, Ive seen the show, I cant figure out the big attraction. Yes, all of us college aged wild and crazy kids like to get drunk, do drugs, and have perverted unprotected causal sex. So why are we watching people do this? Get the fuck out there and do it yourself bitches.

Seriously though, use a condom. Protect your dick.

I myself dont have casual sex, I have a beautiful girlfriend that I've been with for 8 years now, yes I know now I look like the douche bag. But serious relationships can be quite rewarding.

Like casual sex. Id be scared as fuck to have random casual sex with some girl. Yes I like girls, but I also like my dick, and nowadays its fucking std russian roulette out there. Its amazing how std rates rise, yet it seems to be less of a concern for people.

**Check this shit out - Its the wine rack. Stay Hydrated while fooling people into thinking you have big breasts.** Somebody is actually making money off of this...


Things that happend Today in history:

Today has actually been a pretty shitty historical day, and all the bullshit that did happen was pretty boring. Heres a taste.

1829 – In the United States, William Austin Burt patents the typographer, a precursor to the typewriter.
-- Yay, the typewriter .. I think My grandmother used one of those..
1840 – The Province of Canada is created by the Act of Union.
-- Canadas independence, much like everything else, took awhile longer than the USA
1903 – The Ford Motor Company sells its first car.
-- It broke down and had to be returned to the dealer for 3 weeks for repairs, some things never change.
1914 – Austria-Hungary issues an ultimatum to Serbia demanding Serbia to allow the Austrians to determine who assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Serbia will reject those demands and Austria will declare war on July 28.
-- Well, this led to the biggest shit storm the world had ever seen (You know world war style). Its safe to say fuck Serbia.
1926 – Fox Film buys the patents of the Movietone sound system for recording sound onto film.
-- Of course sounds contribution to films is now secondary to really big boobs being introduced to film.
1942 – The Holocaust: the Treblinka extermination camp is opened.
-- No joke here, fuck the nazis.
1970 – Qaboos ibn Sa’id becomes Sultan of Oman after overthrowing his father.
-- Stabbing your own father in the back? Epic douche baggery.
1982 – The International Whaling Commission decides to end commercial whaling by 1985-86.
-- Fuck you whales and fuck you too dolphins
1983 – Gimli Glider: Air Canada Flight 143 runs out of fuel and makes a deadstick landing at Gimli, Manitoba.
-- Sounds like lord of the rings - gimli makes a deadstick landing into Frodos ass.
1992 – A Vatican commission, led by Joseph Ratzinger, establishes that it is necessary to limit rights of homosexual people and non-married couples.
-- I love the big G.O.D and his only son, but fuck the catholic church can be a real dickhead.
1995 – Comet Hale-Bopp is discovered; it will become visible to the naked eye nearly a year later.
-- 2010, still nobody gives a fuck.

So thats a taste of today in history, yes the other facts were even more boring than these.

Whats actually going on today?

Well, Darth Vader — or a man pretending to be Darth Vader? Was reduced to robbing a bank on Long Island this morning. Vader marched into a Chase bank in Setauket around 11:30 a.m. today. Brandishing a completely unnecessary handgun — as he had the power to choke the oxygen out every teller's throat.


**Not pictured: The Imperial Star Destroyer parked out front.

I've been all over the place with this post - I blame the drugs - But thanks for checking in. And now, much like castanza, I'll take off and leave this blog post on a high note.

p.s. Youre soooo good looking.