Masturbation Etiquette

There are 5 times during which you should never ever masturbate:

1. When you are at a funeral.
2. When you are in the delivery room during the birth of your first child.
3. When you are at dinner with your parents.
4. When you are on your first date with someone.
5. When you are the "actor" in a game of charades. (Unless the clue involves masturbation.)

Other than that, it's pretty much okay.