Your Lyrics Suck, Issue #1 Ke$ha

Ke$ha is the latest inexplicably popular musician, despite having no talent.
 If music was football, she would be Trent Dilfer. KeKe$ha is physically disgusting, she looks like a young John Travolta in drag. It looks like she dove in a dumpster. A sticky dumpster. Her album is called Cannibal. And she claims this song was inspired by teen suicide. Honestly, shes doing a disservice to people who have committed suicide because she is just awful. Ke$ha is gross. She is gross, gross, gross, and probably smelly. She sings about gross things. She's a talent-less version of Lady Gaga.


Hot and dangerous
Yes, a deadly combination, especially combined with her immense stupidity. Does she have a gun? I hope not.


If you're one of us, then roll with us
If you have absolutely no sense of self respect or intelligence, you're like her.


'Cause we make the hipsters fall in love
She likes the company of faggy effeminate looking men who may or may not wear the same size pants as her.


And we've got hot-pants on enough
I'm not even sure what this means aside from her liking outdated fashions.


And yes of course we does we're running this town just like a club
No Ke$ha, you are not the mayor or the club owner, you don't run shit.


And no, you don't wanna mess with us
Is true, she smells really bad, don't get too close. And she likes to wave her vagina around. Watch out.


Got Jesus on my necklace-ess
Shes extremely religious.


So far, from what I can tell, shes a Christian mayor from the 70's that may or may not smell like ass. Lets continue.


I've got that glitter on my eyes
That's probably bad for her eye sight. Which would explain her choice in clothes.


Stockings ripped all up the side
Rough sex is appreciated.


Looking sick and sexy-fied
A supermodel with cancer? I'm pretty sure sexy-fied is a made up word.


So let's go-o-o (Let's go!)
Go is emphasized, that means shes super serious.


Tonight we're going hard, hard, ha-ha-ha-hard
More emphasis on ha-ha-ha-hard?


Just like the world is ours, ours, ou-ou-ou-ours
Okay, now I feel bad. This woman has a stutter. She says words repeatedly for no reason. I mean, initially I thought emphasis, but no. Theres no reason ours needs to be said 3 times.

We're tearin' it apart, part, pa-pa-pa-part
From what I can gather, shes probably opening a bag of chips. Otherwise, THAT STATEMENT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

You know we're superstars
Drugs help.

We are who we are!
She's terrible.

We're dancing like we're dumb, dumb, du-du-du-dumb
Finally, she admits shes retarded.

Our bodies going numb, numb, nu-nu-nu-numb
She woke up in a bathtub full of ice after having her kidney stolen.

We'll be forever young, young, yo-yo-yo-young
Not without that kidney. Also, aging is an inevitability. And you're going to die eventually.

You know we're superstars
I'm assuming she smokes meth.


We are who we are!
We've learned she's retarded, has one kidney, does drugs, likes chips, has a speech impediment, has glitter induced blindness, doesn't mind appearing malnourished, is a vampire, likes rough sex, is religious, and cant put together a coherent sentence.

This is about as serious as she gets.

DJ turn it up

Even shed rather be deafened than hear her own music.

It's about damn time to live it up

I'm assuming this means you should party, go to clubs, drink, do drugs, and fuck a lot.

I'm so sick of being so serious

Let's be clear on this, she has never been serious, ever, in her entire life, just look at her.

It's making my brain delirious!
I'm just impressed she knows a 4 syllable word.

I'm just talkin' truth
What? This sentence has no subject.

I'm telling you 'bout the s— we do
Here's a hint, she does it on the toilet.

We're sellin' our clothes, sleepin' in cars
A drug habit can be a hell of a thing.

Dressin' it down, hittin' on dudes (HARD!)
Physically abusive. Knows how to rhyme words (poorly), even if it doesn't make sense.

I've got that glitter on my eyes
Stockings ripped all up the side
Looking sick and sexy-fied
Upon hearing it a second time, it sounds twice as retarded.

So let's go-o-o (Let's go!)
Shes basically yodelling now.

Tonight we're going hard, hard, ha-ha-ha-hard
Just like the world is ours, ours, ou-ou-ou-ours
We're tearin' it apart, part, pa-pa-pa-part
You know we're superstars
We are who we are!
I guess she wanted to hammer that point in again. I have nothing else that can be possibly said.

We're dancing like we're dumb, dumb, du-du-du-dumb
Our bodies going numb, numb, nu-nu-nu-numb
We'll be forever young, young, yo-yo-yo-young
You know we're superstars
We are who we are!
DJ turn it up up up up up up up up up up
DJ turn it up up up up up up up up up up
DJ turn it up up up up up up up up up up
DJ turn it up up up up up up up up up up!
We're dancing like we're dumb, dumb, du-du-du-dumb (yeeeeaaaahhhh)
Our bodies going numb, numb, nu-nu-nu-numb (yeeeeaaaaahhhhh)
We'll be forever young, young, yo-yo-yo-young (yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh)
You know we're superstars
We are who we are!
Okay, now shes just making shit up as she goes trying to fill the last 90 seconds of the song. Why is she still here? She should be handcuffed to a bench. Second, again with the stutter? Really? No. This isn't a stutter. This is fucking Tourette's. This song is so bad it is physically hurting me.

In conclusion, Ke$ha is a dangerous alcoholic. It's like she was drunk the entire time - when writing, when singing, whenever she was awake. My god, Ke$ha should be imprisoned. There's nothing more to say than its what you would expect from someone who believes a dollar sign is interchangeable with an 's'.