Wit, Wisdom, And bullshit: Absurdity In America: Staying on the celebrity topic

The new DWTS season kicks off Sept. 20 on ABC.

Dancing with the star. Lets be serious. I've never watched a single second of this show; Not even for the barely there female costumes. But, it is quite popular and is probably a topic of discussion among most females - So I am going to indulge and give my input. And maybe knock Sarah Palin while I'm at it - Don't worry there's a segway in there somewhere.

The ladies hitting the dance floor:

Brandy - Washed up singer, trying to regain her career; Sells soul to DWTS.

Dirty Dancing star Jennifer Grey - Washed up actress; Ruined by a nose job; Needs DWTS payday.

Margaret Cho - Really? She's funny. But do we really want to see her in those DWTS costumes?

The Hills alum Audrina Patridge - Great boob job (She denies it) - Probably worth watching her dance. But clinging to reality show stardom is so pathetic. Next stop for her: The Real World? Get a real job already bitch.

Florence Henderson - Ok, we definitely don't wont to see Mrs. Brady in those costumes. Billy Madison might enjoy it though. (If you get the reference, I love you)

Bristol Palin - Oh yes, we'll get back to her a little bit later. For now quotes from The junior Palin.
"She's excited for me she knows this will be hard work," Palin said when asked how her mom Sarah felt about her new gig. Will she be in the ballroom? "Hopefully!" she told DWTS host Tom Bergeron.

"Someone is actually impregnating me right now as we speak."

The men who sold their balls:

Michael Bolton - The singer? Or the kid from "Office Space"?

Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino - They will presumably have him remove his shirt as often as possible. Word is Chippendales is choreographing his routine.

David Hasselhoff - The Hoff .. From a comedy central roast to DWTS - This man will do anything for a buck and we love him for it.

Hasselhoff said, "I think it's going to be harder than the Comedy Central roast .. but I am happy to be here. My two daughters love this show and convinced me to do it."

Nice try there Hoff-man - You would have done it for a 30 rack and 3 cheeseburgers.

NBA champ Rick Fox - Yeah, it should be Actor Rick Fox, he always made a better actor than ballplayer.

NFL quarterback Kurt Warner - I smell an affair brewing. If you saw his wife, you'd know why.

Rapper Kyle Massey - Yeah, He was classified as "rapper" on the article I initially read. It turns out this is the little fat kid from that old Disney show "That's So Raven". So yeah, take the term rapper with a grain of salt these days I guess. -- Even though Aubrey Graham went from Wheel Chair Jimmy on a crappy Canadian tween drama to Internationally acclaimed Drake - I don't think a lot of child stars will be making it big in the rap game anytime soon.

Ok, I gave you the cast, I gave my input - Now on to the Illustrious Palin clan.

What the fuck. Sarah Palin is fucking ass clown to being with. We all know here gaffes during the presidential race - For once (because of Obama) people payed attention. We've all heard her sound like a fool time and time again. Not really a big deal, most politicians aren't any smarter than her (Don't get me wrong. Its a huge deal that our politicians are stupid, but that's not what my point is - Hence the "Not really a big deal")

The biggest thing about Mrs. Sarah Palin is that she has a self righteous, christian, Republican attitude; Hard liners on abortion, crime, the death penalty, gay marriage - Basically they see themselves as the public morale high ground. Sarah Palin uses her christian attitude to tell you how to live your life.

Yet on the home front -

She maliciously used her power to go after her sister's allegedly abusive boyfriend.
She couldn't tell you what the VP does, despite the fact she was running for VP.
Her daughter Bristol has FB pictures that show her drinking underage.
Bristol precedes to get pregnant out of wed lock (Not hating on this one - Shit happens).
Bristol and boyfriend Levi break up.
Levi goes on to pose in Playgirl.
The 2 kids get back together, they exploit their child on the cover of people.
And now daughter Bristol joins the DWTS cast.

As a female cast member of DWTS she will most likely be wearing some of the skimpiest clothing allowed on television. It's like spring break Cancun, at anytime a titty might pop out.

So the next time Sarah Palin tells you how to live YOUR life, remember how her family lives theirs.