WWBS Profiles: Herod The Great.

Looks like a shady bastard, doesn't he?

 The Man:

Herod the Great was a king of Judea, reigning king of the Jews. He's most well known for something called "Massacre of the Innocents." He was described as "a madman who murdered his own family and a great many rabbis."

Shortly after being made king by the Romans, Herod was visited by three magi. They wanted to know where they could find the newly born king of the Jews. Somehow, Herod found this to be a threat to his authority. Apparently, the new king of the Jews was to be born in Bethlehem.

One legend says that after killing his wife in jealousy, King Herod the Great continued to have sex with her body for seven years. Considering that this wasn't worst thing he ever did, it's safe to say that his title of "The Great" might have been handed out a little early.

Cause of death:

• Trying to kill Jesus. Yes, fucking Jesus, the original superman.
• According to modern scientists, Herod suffered from a severe kidney disease, and something called Fournier gangrene.

That's gangrene of the genitalia.

Gangrene Of The Motherfucking GENITALIA! Yes folks, it was Dick rot.

The Bible tells us:

According to Christian tradition, when he found out that the son of God had just been born and that he was no longer King of the Jews, Herod decided the best course of action was to kill every baby in Bethlehem, with the hopes of killing poor baby Jesus. There was just 1 problem with this brilliant plan: Jesus is Jesus and therefore very difficult to kill, even as an infant.



This is what happens when you shit in Gods cereal.

Not only did the plan fail, but it pissed God off enough that he responded by murdering the shit out of Herod's manhood.

Obviously, the whole "God did it" theory doesn't have a lot of scientific evidence to back it up, so you can draw your own conclusions.

But which would you rather believe: That it was Gods wrath? Or that this shit could pretty much happen to anyone?

Never fuck with God. Ever!

The new king of the Jews, Jesus Christ, grew up safely in Nazareth.