Jerry O'connell. The Greatest Actor Whoever Lived.

Not generally listed with the likes of, (insert great actors here), but he is actually the greatest actor of all time.

As a Jerry O'Connell super fan, I encourage you to see: Calender Girl, Can't Hardly Wait (just for his one scene), Sliders (Seasons 1-4), Joe's Apartment, Tom Cat's, Kangaroo Jack, and the 1 episode of Night Visions he was in. (Go ahead, ask me what Night Visions is)

Jerry O'Connell Facts:

• Was an over weight child actor due to an incident in which he ate Cory Feldman on the set of Stand By Me.
• Appeared in 1 episode of Charles in Charge, resisting the urge to eat Chachi.
• Overcoming his obesity problems, he went on to bang Rebbecca Romijn.
• Stared in one of the greatest TV shows of all-time, Sliders.
• He is actually just the alter ego of the great Trip McNeely.
• Appeared in David Duchovny's music video for "Bree Sharp"

Jeremiah "Jerry" O'Connell, born February 17, 1974, is best known for his roles in the TV series Sliders, Stand by Me, Kangaroo Jack, and on the TV drama Crossing Jordan.

Early life

O'Connell was born in New York City, the son an art teacher, and the ghost of James Dean. His maternal grandfather, was the mayor of Jersey City. O'Connell was raised in Manhattan with his younger brother, Charlie O'Connell, who in the past, has pretended to be an actor. O'Connell began his acting career at a young age doing low rate commercial work for Duncan Hines cookies. At the age of eleven, and a weight of 350 Lbs., he landed his first feature film role as the character Vern Tessio in Rob Reiner's Stand by Me. As a teenager, he starred in a shitty Canadian TV series, "My Secret Identity", in which he portrayed superman, if superman were a whiny prepubescent shit head.

O'Connell attended NYU from 1991 to 1994, majoring in film. While there, he studied screen writing, perfected his Trip Mcneely persona, and competed on the NYU fencing team, serving a stint as captain of the sabre squad.

It was either a dick joke, or this picture of his Rebbecca Romijn topless, yeah, I think I made the right choice as well.

Later Career

O'Connell starred in the sci-fi sitcom My Secret Identity from 1988-1991 as the teen pissant who develops superhuman traits. During a summer break from NYU, Jerry alongside Jason Priestley, traveled to California in an effort to have sex with Marylin Monroe. In his Junior year, O'Connell auditioned for the TV pilot Sliders. He was offered the role of Quinn Mallory in the series, which ran for 5 seasons, 3 of which, were on a legitimate network.


Kari Wuhrer, one of O'Connell's Slider's co-stars. 

O'Connell has since gone on to star in such movies as Jerry Maguire, Mission to Mars, Tomcats, Scream 2, and Kangaroo Jack. O'Connell has also tried his hand at screenwriting and sold his first screenplay, First Daughter, to New Regency in 1999 (.. and hasn't sold a film since). The film starred an adorable, pre-Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes. You can see Katie topless in this movie.
O'Connell starred as Detective Woody Hoyt on the NBC crime drama Crossing Jordan until its cancellation (Saber team, Woody, he's begging me to make a dick joke, so I'll just use this opportunity to post another Romijn Picture).

Once again, totally the right decision.

In 2004, he wore a diaper on Last Call with Carson Daly, during a mock commercial skit for the GoodNites bedwetting product. The National Enquirer caught him filming the skit and printed a photo of him in his diaper.

Thanks to the Internet, it's still floating around.

His younger brother Charlie O'Connell, an alumnus of NYU who was most recently seen (And best known) as The Bachelor, is also an actor who only gets roles playing the brother of Jerry's character, such as in Sliders and Crossing Jordan.

In early 2008, O'Connell acted in a widely circulated Internet video parody of the leaked Tom Cruise video on Scientology.

In the Fall of 2008 O'Connell starred in Fox's Do Not Disturb, co-starring Niecy Nash, but Fox cancelled the show after only three episodes, presumably because Niecy Nash's ass demanded a raise. Currently starring in "The Defenders", with the almost funny Jim Belushi.

Possibly Niecy Nash's ass.

Personal life

On July 14, 2007, O'Connell married actress, and regular contributor to wet dreams nation wide, Rebbecca Romijn near Los Angeles in Calabasas, California.

A self-proclaimed "Super Super Fan" of The Howard Stern Show, O'Connell placed last in the "Celebrity" version of the "Super Fan Contest" that took place on May 13, 2008.

Words of Wisdom:

Can't Hardly Wait


Trip McNeely: Hey man, you want a beer?
Mike Dexter: Trip McNeely!
Trip McNeely: Trip McNeely.
Mike Dexter: No way, man!
Trip McNeely: Trip McNeely.
Mike Dexter: Trip McNeely! Geez. You were a sexual icon! You know girls at Huntington still talk about you?
Trip McNeely: Really? Which ones?
Mike Dexter: You must be racking up at college. College!
Trip McNeely: I wish, bro. I can't even get digits as a freshman.
Mike Dexter: Shut up! Come on, you can tell me.
Trip McNeely: Seriously, man. I thought college was gonna be a 24-7 orgy. Hell, that's even why I broke up with Janeen before I left.
Mike Dexter: S-so, what happened?
Trip McNeely: College chicks are totally different, bro. They're all serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap. They all wanna date older guys. [Tosses an empty beer can aside]
Mike Dexter: Yeah, but... not all of 'em, right?
Trip McNeely: Way it goes. Hell, I even tried crawling back to Janeen. She was all cozy with some senior. He's a pre-med. They ALL are. Guys like us... we are a dime a dozen. [Belches and then chuckles]
Trip McNeely: Speaking of which, you still with that Amanda chick? She was a prize piece if I ever saw one.
Mike Dexter: Yeah,
Mike Dexter: me and Amanda. Definitely. Yep.
Trip McNeely: You're lucky, bro.
Mike Dexter: I sure am.
Trip McNeely: Stay with her. It's the best advice I can give you.
Trip McNeely: Oh, that, and bring rubber flip-flops in the shower. I got warts all over my feet.
Mike Dexter: Take it easy, Trip! Trip McNeely! All right...


Tom Cats

Michael: [to himself] You are going to have sex with the first woman you see. First woman you see, first woman you see.
[walks out of the bathroom and stumbles by an unattractive, fat woman]
Michael: OK, second woman you see. The second woman you see.

Natalie: I'm falling for Kyle.
Michael: What?
Natalie: He's actually sweet.
Michael: Sweet? The guy screws women while they're barfing!
 
Joe's Apartment
 
Joe: Oh, my god! Mister, are you alright?
Walter Shit: Two days, seven hours, twenty-three minutes and four seconds. That's how long I've been lying here.
Joe: Are you O.K.?
Walter Shit: 'Course not! I'm an artist!
[Walter Shit, performance artist, has been lying in a pool of blood]
Walter Shit: I wanted to express how cold, how pitiless this city really is.
Joe: Nobody touched you for two days?
Walter Shit: Spitting doesn't count.

The greatest actor of all time, I stand by that statement.