Dear coworkers,
Why do you have to know what I'm fucking eating every day? I'm so sick of the question, "what's for lunch today?" Fuck you, that's whats for lunch asshole. And for dinner I might have your mother. How's that for an answer? That's how I would answer if I wasn't forced to be polite. So return the favor and politely back the fuck away from my food, it's rude to have you leering down at me as I'm trying to eat. In fact, unless you have something for me to do that involves the computer system, don't ever come in my office ever again. I hate you.
Sincerely,
Michael "Don't Ask Me About My Fucking Grilled Cheese" Bennett.
omg im down with this!!
ReplyDeletedear co-workers,
i know you dont really give a shit what i did over the weekend so stop asking. if i wanted witty banter with strangers id work in a coffee shop. leave me in peace to stare at my computer you bunch of overdressed turds. yes. i like my shoes too. THAT is why i bought them. now turn around and do some work.
sincerely,
krissy doesnt-care-what-show-you-watched-last-night chubbuck.
Oh yeah, I hate the mother fuckers I work with. I think "Open Letters" could have a lot of promise, I might make a series of it, and I will certainly let my anger extend to other aspects of my life, not just my asshole coworkers.
ReplyDeleteThe feigned interest is the worst, fuck you, fuck your interests, fuck lost, fuck everything else on tv. I'm not going to tell you about how I went home and played Xbox 360 and smoked weed until I passed out. And when they ask "How was your weekend?", thats just the worst, really, you want me to recap friday night - sunday, please go away, I wasn't at work this weekend, thats all that matters, and you already know that.
You made me laugh so fuckin hard!
ReplyDeleteha ha ha ha
im rolling on the floor!
:D
:) Thanks. Im just glad I'm not the only person who sees this as a problem.
ReplyDeleteSooooo.... you gonna FINISH that grilled cheese ?!?
ReplyDeleteMatt
I would have guessed it was you without the signature lol.
ReplyDelete